Two weeks ago I was down with back pain. It’s a severe back pain that I’ve been carrying since L was still in my womb. My pregnancy journey was not as smooth as others. I had Hyperemesis Gravidarum (read here), I couldn’t swallow anything but coke until the 5th month of pregnancy. I started to eat a lot from 6th month onwards, and because of the continuous eating and snacking (and vomiting after every meal!), I gained so much weight that my pelvis couldn’t support the sudden weight gain that leads to an SPD, Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (read here). I barely could walk, I couldn’t put on my own pants and it was excruciating pain. You may tell that my 9 months (well actually 8 because L was born on the 8th months) pregnancy was not fun at all.

Well, the fun part was, of course, knowing there was a baby growing inside the womb 🙂

Years went by. The back pain is always there. Sometimes it got worse because at that time I was still working. I had to drive nearly 3 hours every day from BSD to Bogor. In addition, I had to sit all day long in the office. As part of my job, sometimes I had to go to the forest. The trip to the forest was not as easy as I imagined before. I had to walk up and down a steep hill, sit in a car on a very bumpy road for more than 6 hours and as you may guess, my back pain was getting worse.

I then visited a spinal doctor to get checked. The doctor said that the pain is caused by my previous SPD and the fact that I didn’t exercise at all contributed to the development of the pain. I sat all day and that’s not good. I also talked to friends about this, they told me that it might be caused by the injection of a local anesthesia on the spine when I delivered my baby. I had a c-sect, btw. But when I look for more information about that matter, I found out that not every woman that had gone through spine injection (anesthesia or epidural) experience a back pain. So, maybe there is another factor that contributed to the pain. To me, it was my bad daily activities.

The doctor said that I had to go through a series of physiotherapy. Unfortunately, in the middle of the therapy, we moved to Singapore and I was too lazy to find a new therapist here.

Here in Singapore, I started to work from home, remotely. Apart from that I have to do the household works and taking care of my kid. It was not easy at all at first but now I’ve overcome it. Being a mom with no maid at all means you have to do all of the things on your own. It’s 24/7, no days off kinda job. Sometimes I have to sit in front of the laptop for hours when I have something to finish related to my job. So, hi spine, you okay there?

There are times when I want my maids back. Yes, maids, with ‘s’, because I used to have two maids back in Jakarta, it’s pretty normal there, don’t raise your eyebrow! The house was always clean, everything was set and everything was in its place. Now, I have to clean the house every time myself. I can’t sleep if things are not in their right place. So basically, I will start my day by cleaning the house and clean the house again before I put the kid to bed for nap time and do it once more before bedtime. I’m happy to do that because cleaning the house, putting everything in its place and cooking are the things that comfort me. It’s therapeutic.

Unfortunately, my back is actually getting worse and worse each day. I just don’t realize it. I just feel that back pain is now ‘a friend’ (because it’s always there) and there’s nothing to be worried. When I used to run regularly this back pain was not as strong as now. But when I stop, I’ve been stopped since April, 3 months now, the back pain is back! Hello again, you!

No. It’s not good.

Last Sunday, I did the cleaning for nearly 4 hours straight! Vacuuming, wipe the floor, clean the toilet and some others domestic works. Four hours straight. I felt fine. That’s what I usually do on the weekend before we went out for some fun. So I thought it’s fine. It’s fine, right? Guys?

The next day, I met my friends at a coffee shop. Meeting friends and having some discussions about anything, or just some chit-chat over coffee always makes me happy. After sitting and talking for about 5 hours, I tried to get up and my back felt so painful. I couldn’t walk properly. It hurt like hell. After finished my lunch, I then called my husband to pick me up because…I couldn’t walk. He came from his office and took me home. Subsequently, I spent the night crawling on the sofa. He had to hold me every time I wanna go to the toilet. He then gave me a painkiller to ease the pain.

The next morning, I went to the hospital and got examined. I have to go through some physiotherapy (again), I have to take some medicines and refrain from any domestic activities, at least until I feel better. Lucky me, I didn’t have to go through an MRI because Rahul said the pain has gradually gone. If the pain persists or getting worse then I have to do the MRI.

After gave me some questions and examinations, he said that I’m an obsessive-compulsive cleaner. Wait, what? Well, he was joking of course. I’m not Adrian Monk.

That’s because when Rahul asked ‘For how many times do you clean the house?” my beloved husband answered before I even could open my mouth ‘almost every 3 hours, doc’. Why did you tell the doc, husb? WHY?

So the point is: I’m having a back pain because I worked too hard (bending, carrying the kid, etc) without myself knowing it. It has gone off the limit.

Your husband didn’t help you to do the cores? Yes, he did help! He is always helpful but I guess it’s just me that always paranoid about everything so I seem like I couldn’t stop doing something. He he.

Rahul the doctor said that when the pain has gone I have to gradually back to the things I used to do. If I used to run, then I have to do it again.

Conclusion:

Motherhood takes your whole life. By the time you knew there is something growing inside your womb, you know your life will never be the same again. Your body will change. Your bones will be weaker because the baby took half of the calcium, your hormones are mixed up, the baby blues will attack and so on and so on.

It sounds pity but trust me, there are a lot of things that you can do to make it worthwhile.

What I’m trying to say is, you may say you are dying of becoming a mom but don’t forget that you can also be having fun while doing it.

1. Work smart not work hard. I now know that cleaning the house every 3 hours won’t make your house clean all the time.
2. Having unorganized things here and there is okay. Make peace with it. You don’t want to go insane just because there’s a spoon inside your kid’s toy box. Let it go.
3. Do exercise. What can I say more about this? Everyone really needs to do exercise.
4. RELAX, BABY! >> my husband said that.
5. Enjoy your life >> my husband added.

Remember, when a mom is happy, the whole family will be happy too. But when you’re down and sick, the things won’t be the same again.

Cheers!